


Spawn

by barakatballs



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Humor, M/M, pg-13 really i mean well you'll see, this was really fun to write tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2182263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barakatballs/pseuds/barakatballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tarantulas are the spawns of Satan, according to Dean Ambrose</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spawn

**Author's Note:**

> prompt fill for "oh fuck! OH FUCK!"  
> y'all think this was gonna be smut? 
> 
> hehe

“Oh fuck, OH FUCK!”

“I swear to God, Seth!” Dean shouted, feet storming up the stairs, “You better not make a fucking mess again on our bed, okay the sheets smelled for weeks!”

Just a few minutes ago Dean entered their small apartment when the wailing of Seth’s voice, echoing “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” made Dean almost step back outside. Whenever Seth was alone, he likes to keep himself _busy_ and that would lead to Dean awkwardly walking into his lover naked on their bed, basically fucking himself. At first it was hot, who could blame Dean? But after the bed and sheets began to smell like cum, even the couch, Dean threatened Seth to calm down his mucho masturbation.

It was working for the meanwhile, Dean had managed to get back home to find Seth watching TV, cooking, sleeping, reading, and – surprise! - not masturbating. And that often led to _thank you for not fucking yourself alone_ sex, it was a compliment in Dean’s standard.

So when walking into his home only to hear some short breath gasps and screams, Dean ran up the stairs thinking to himself _I thought I hid those vibrators._

Hand twisting on the knob, Dean barged into their bedroom, “Seth what did I tell you about jerking – **_what the fuck is that?!”_**

Lying on the pasty wall sat a fucking tarantula by the side of Godzilla; it was some sort of mutation because that spider was almost the side of Seth’s head. Speaking about Seth, who was clothed, kudos to him, sat not on the bed which was pressed against the wall, but a dresser about a foot away from the titan monsters, an old baseball bat Dean must of owned since high school, in his hands, ready to swing whenever that creature moved.

Noticing his boyfriend, Seth quickly thank God who was obviously listening for his rescue. “Dean oh thank God, go kill it!”

“Kill it?” Dean practically shouted, “I ain’t touching that…that…whatever the fuck it is?!”

The creature stood still but its countless eyes were locked on the petrified boyfriends, as if ready to attack at any moment.

“Well we’re not gonna let it live!” Wailed Seth, fingers clutched tight on the bat, “Dean you gotta kill it, you know how spiders scare the fuck out of me, just smash it something!”

“With what?!” Dean raised his arms in his defense.

“Your shoe or something!”

“Man, these shoes cost more than this house, no way I’m ruining it with the blood of the spawn of Satan, okay?”

“Dean! Just – IT FUCKING MOVED!”

Dean didn’t hesitate to run and join his traumatized lover, now both trembling, scared of their pants, boyfriends stood on the shaking dresser.

“This thing is going to break,” Dean could feel the wood rumble as he faced Seth, “We need to call a fucking exterminator.”

“As if we got the money for that!” Seth rolled his eyes, as if it was obvious.

“And why is that?” Dean cocked an eyebrow. “Is it on all the times I had to buy a life supply of detergent to get rid of the smell!”

“No!” Seth stated sarcastically, “It’s because you spent a fortune on your shoes, so that’s why you _must_ use them to kill that beast!”

If it weren’t to the spawn of Satan on the wall and Seth carrying the only weapon, Dean would have rung Seth’s neck.

“Look! We need to get rid of that thing fast and – wait where did it go?” Four eyes roamed the entire room frantically, no sign of the creature.

“Where the fuck is it?” Seth whispered, his brown eyes scanning the pasty wall.

“I don’t know I’m looking, okay?” Dean said coolly, but the twenty-eight year old felt like a child stuck in a haunted mansion that knew they needed to get the fuck outta there _fast_. He just needed that thing out of his house, and maybe moves to another house. Like before the sun sets. And why was Seth touching him?? “Just stop touching my back, Jesus!”

“I’m not touching your back...,” Seth muttered before both men realized the problem.

Dean’s eyes widened, _the spawn of Satan was on his back wasn’t it?_

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Seth didn’t even bother to hesitate to swing the bat, it colliding right into Dean’s back.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Dean cried out, the sharp pain hitting his spine instantly. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

“IT’S NOT THERE!” Seth frantically searched everywhere but as he looked up, he was faced with a seething Dean.

“You struck me with a bat, BEFORE EVEN LOOKING!” Dean flailed his arms, “Who the fuck does that?!”

"Can you keep yourself down?” Seth hissed, “We need to be quiet to capture the beast.”

As Seth turned around, Dean used whatever strength he had left not to wrap his hands around Seth’s neck so tight that it would take a thousand men to pry them off. He was _this_ close.

“I still can’t believe you fucking hit me with a bat.”

"I thought you were in danger!”

“Well you could’ve looked!” Dean shouted snatching the bat – and Seth’s only weapon – before breaking the wood spilt in half between his knees.

“Nooooooo!” Seth pulled his hair. “You just destroyed our only weapon!”

Dean didn’t hear a word. “I am really this close to shoving this bat down your throat.”

“If we survive this, you can shove something else into my throat,” Seth tried to make a deal, earning a flashing blush forming on Dean’s cheeks, “Now just give me the bat or whatever’s left of it, and let’s get _the fuck outta here.”_

Seth didn’t even wait for Dean; he jumped off the dress and raced down the stairs straight out the door and into the sidewalk. To his surprise, Dean was right on his back, he didn’t want to be stuck alone with the mutated demon.

“Should I call Roman?” Dean looked at his boyfriend whose eyes were glued to their house, “I mean I think he can deal with whatever that was.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seth nodded, “He’ll know what to do.”

As Dean whipped out his phone, he noticed Seth’s unusual silence, it would be normal for Seth to be screaming “WE COULD HAVE DIED IN THERE” on repeat, but the silence was weird.

“You okay?” Dean nudged Seth with his elbow as he raised the phone against his ear.

Seth blinked, returning to reality, and slowly turned to face Dean, and said in the most serious voice ever.

“Was this a punishment from God for masturbating too much?”

“You made me fucking drop my phone, Seth.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am very pleased with this piece.  
> send me prompts on my tumblr: http://southernviolenceambrose.tumblr.com/  
> I like prompts  
> I like em' a lot


End file.
